Good News

Cristine-

We had our appointment with the Genetics Counselor and the ultrasound.

The meeting with the GC wasn’t bad at all. I had read so many horror stories about women being pushed to do amnio’s and some even pushing for abortions.

We met with a lady named Nicole and she was the complete opposite. She was informative and listened to what we had to say. Respected our wishes for no amnio. And then she said the percentage of our baby having Downs Syndrome was so low based on my blood results. Music to our ears but still knew we weren’t in the clear.

Finally we did the ultrasound and the doctor looked over everything again. After a long silence, he said the baby looked perfectly healthy. He couldn’t find any markers for DS. Huge relief! I instantly started crying.

I know the ultrasound isn’t 100% but it makes me feel a whole lot better. I just feel like everything is going to be ok. And on the plus side, we got to see our little nugget again. This time we caught her (still dont know if its a “she” but I’ve been referring to baby as a girl) shaking her head back and forth and raising her little arm over her head. 🙂 Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Tomorrow we go in for our first 3d/4d ultrasounds. And on Saturday, we are going out to dinner with our families to find out if baby is a boy or girl. Oh, I forgot to mention we have the answer in an envelope that has been sealed for almost a week! We have fought the temptation to open it but we will soon find out. Can’t wait!!!!

And finally side to side pictures of my belly. My very first picture at 5 weeks and the most recent one taken two weeks ago.

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It just suddenly grew!

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Catch Up

Cristine-

Where were we???

Our last update was about hearing the baby’s heartbeat. We’ve had two more ultrasounds since then. The first one was with our OBGYN that we had never met before. We hated him! He was rude and didn’t even acknowledge Claudia or my mother in law that we invited to come with us. I also had a pap smear that day and I have never experienced such pain as he inserted the speculum. He barely let Claudia look at our baby on the screen before he turned it away from her. And once the exam was over he told me to meet him in his office but had Claudia stay in the waiting room. I don’t know if he is always so unfriendly or isn’t used to working with a lesbian couple but either way he was an asshole! My lab results from that day also showed I’m anemic and he didn’t bother calling me to pass along that information. He sent me an email. So needless to say, he’s been replaced. Our next appointment with our new OB is on August 28th so I hope we have a better experience with her.

The last ultrasound we had was on Friday to check for Down Syndrome. Everything looked good. Baby is healthy! 🙂

Claudia and I are both doing good! Just been working and still in disbelief even though it’s going to be two months since we found out. We are looking forward to finding out the gender so we can start getting the nursery together. We already bought the crib and dresser but don’t want to put it together until we know what theme we will be using.

I haven’t had any serious symptoms. Still tired all the time so I try to fit in naps whenever I can. I haven’t had any morning sickness and I’ll soon be in the second trimester so I think I’ll be ok. Just when I get hungry I need to eat pretty much right away because I start feeling sick. I’ve only gained about one pound but I feel bigger. No noticeable baby belly yet, I just look thicker around the middle and I hate picking out clothes in the morning because I hate how everything looks.

We also have an early babymoon coming up. We had put extra money aside in case the fresh cycle of IVF didn’t worked and we had to do FET. But if the IVF did work then we would use that money for a well deserved vacation. So we are taking a cruise to the Bahamas!! I can’t wait to get away. We set sail on September 5th so please let the next few weeks go by quickly.

I think that pretty much catches you all up with what we’ve been up to. Not very exciting. On Wednesday, we’ll be taking a belly shot so I’ll post that up with the other two we have. I’m hoping to see a little bit of a difference this time.

Until next time…

We Are Still Here!!

Cristine-

So…I’m a horrible blogger. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted and I apologize.

After we got our BFP, I wasn’t sure if our readers would still be interested in our story. When we were TTC, it was hard to read about other couples getting pregnant. I was happy for them of course but still made our reality even sadder. Then it happened to us and I didn’t know what to do with our blog. I didn’t want to be the cause of sadness to other couples that I have grown to admire and bond with.

Claudia knew my reasons for not updating the blog and the other day she told me that I should keep at it. That it makes it look like I no longer care about this community that gave us so much support and encouragement over the months. I never thought about it like that and I realized it does look bad on my part. That was never my intention.

I still follow everyone’s story and I’m still rooting for all of you. Whether it be the weight lose challenge, IVF cycles, natural/medicated cycles, miscarriages or already pregnant. I never abandoned this amazing community.

And truth of the matter, this blog was never intended just for trying to get pregnant. I meant for it to be a diary for the next years to come. From TTC, actually being pregnant and finally having the baby we wished for for so long.

So I hope our readers stay with us and continue to support us along this new path of our journey. I will be updating more frequently. Promise!

I will write a more detailed post tomorrow about what’s been happening with us since our last post almost a month ago. :/ But until then, just wanted you all to know that all three of us are doing great. I am now twelve weeks!!! 🙂

The Cat is out of the Bag

Cristine-

The original plan was to keep the pregnancy a secret until August, when we are closer to the second trimester.

Well that didn’t work. We made it to about three weeks. We are horrible at keeping secrets. Obviously!

We didn’t want to just say “we’re pregnant” so we decided to make cards with our first ultrasound picture with the words ‘surprise’ and our due date.

First we went to tell Claud’s family on Saturday. We got there and we felt rushed to tell them. Her parents were getting ready to leave to the airport for Mexico. So after about ten minutes of stalling and nervousness we hand out the cards and tell them to open them at the same time. Everyone was really happy (with the exception of her dad, he just walked out) and gave us hugs.

Next we went to my parents house. We were also there to celebrate my brothers 25th bday. Well my brothers ended up ruining our plan by getting super drunk and passing out by 7:30. Lol. So we decided to leave for the night and come back on Sunday morning. Finally everyone was present and sober so I handed out the cards. My parents were shocked but really excited. My mom kept saying “finally” she’s been bugging for a grand kid. Again a round of congratulations and hugs.

So now all the important people know. It’s such a relief not to have to carry around this big secret anymore. And it also makes this all feel a little bit more real.

On Wednesday I’ll be 8 weeks! And next Monday we go to our second ultrasound to hear our little peas heartbeat! 🙂 Can’t wait.

Oh, here is a picture of our cards. We wanted to wait so the baby looked more like a baby but well we have no patience. So here is our beautiful, little blob. 🙂

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Move Over Sadness…

Cristine:

…Because happiness is here to stay! Slowly letting go of the sad memories and letting this new adventure in our lives take over.

However, I can’t help but think about where we were two years ago. Its such a 360• turn that makes me so over the moon to finally be here in this place now.

July 3, 2010, Claudia and I were in the ER ending my first pregnancy. Now exactly two years later and I can’t stop smiling and just being ridiculously happy because yesterday we got to see our little pea for the first time! It was the most amazing thing ever and I was in complete awe of this little being that is all ours.

Two years ago, we were at the worst place we have been. Our world was crumbling around us and it took awhile to pick up the pieces. I wish it hadn’t happened at all but through that our marriage and friendship just continued to grow stronger as we leaned on each other for support. It took us a whole two years to get pregnant again but I know because of what we have been through we will love, cherish, adore and be forever grateful for this baby that will soon enter our lives.

So like I said yesterday was our first ultrasound. My doctor said the baby is growing perfectly and our official due date is February 20! 😉 We unfortunately couldn’t hear the heartbeat yet but we were able to see it flickering fast on the screen. We go back on July 16 to hear it. I can’t wait. So again we enter a two week wait. :/ But now that we were able to actually see our baby and see everything is going well I think I can enter these next two weeks a lot more relaxed. I felt instant relief when I saw that little heart pumping away!

So grow baby, grow!!!

Tomorrow I’ll be 7 weeks!!!

Hope everyone has a fabulous 4th of July! (even though it’s on a Wednesday)

6 Weeks

I wish I could say “wow where has the time gone” or “these weeks have flown by” but nope!! This has been the longest month I have ever experienced in my life. It hasn’t even been a month since the egg retrieval and only two weeks since we found out I was pregnant.

I just want it to be July 2nd already so we can do our ultrasound. I’m so anxious, it’s all I can think about.

But like the title says, 6 weeks!!! That excites me. I still can’t believe it and still waiting to feel some pregnancy symptoms. I always thought it was weird when women would say “I didn’t know I was pregnant.” I would think “how did you not know?? You have a little person growing inside of you, dummy!” Well I totally get it now. It’s hard to tell or know. If it weren’t for the pregnancy test, I would have no idea. As crazy as it may seem, I’m still wishing for some symptoms over here! Any day now little one…

This weekend was Pride and we had a great time. We marched in the parade with Claud’s department and went to go eat lunch with some of her coworkers after. We didn’t stay for all the crazy festivities for the first time in about ten years. I knew I wouldn’t have patience for the huge, drunken crowd and all the pushing and shoving that comes along with all that. Guess we are officially getting old. Plus by the time we got to the car at about 2:30, I was already exhausted. I knocked out on the way home. Yup, party animal I am!

5 sleeps til first ultrasound.

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Our mandatory close up that we do wherever we go.

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Us with some of Claudia’s fellow deputies.

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Along the parade route.

Final Beta Results

Cristine-

Went in for my third beta test and the first one since the bleeding and everything seems to be ok.

Beta #1 (14dpo)- 154
Beta #2 (16dpo)- 305
Beta #3 (23dpo)- 5189

My IVF case manager was very pleased with the progress and I’m actually really happy with the latest number. I can finally breath a sign of relief. I was really nervous these last few days.

Since the bleeding, I haven’t even let myself get excited about the ultrasound on July 2 because I was scared of what my beta numbers might be but now I can’t wait!!! Slowly getting past the hurdles. I can relax a bit now and just be happy this is actually happening.

Again, thank you all for all your kind words of support and encouragement.

It’s been a looooong week of work and worry and I am counting down the hours til my weekend starts. Looking forward to spending time with Claudia and the pride parade here in San Francisco.

Everyone have a great weekend!

Scared

Today, the thing that I’ve been paranoid and worried about happened.

I went to the bathroom and there was blood. I didn’t know what to do but stare at it and automatically think the worst. And of course, I started crying.

I called my IVF case manager and she said that it’s normal to bleed some in the first trimester and try not to worry about it. Kinda hard not to. I don’t care how normal it is. I’m fucking worried. She said just to wait til Friday when I go in for one more beta. If it gets worse, call her back.

I’m so sick of waiting. That’s all we do. I just want to know now. The good news is that the bleeding seems to have stopped and I haven’t had any cramps or lower back pain. I was reading that those can be signs of miscarriage when accompanied with bleeding.

I’m so thankful my wife was here to calm me down though. She is always the level headed one while I tend to be more emotional. I don’t know what I would do without her and she is the perfect person for me to share this journey with.

Well…now we just wait…some more. Another countdown to Friday.

Please pray for everything to be ok. 😦

Our Trip to Stinson Beach

Still in disbelief over here that I’m actually pregnant. It still hasn’t sunk in and I keep thinking it’s unreal. I’m actually still in shock.

Things are moving nice and sloooow!!! I have to call on Monday to schedule our first ultrasound two weeks from now. We are basically in another TWW and I want to pull my hair out.

The only pregnancy symptom I have is exhaustion. I can nap all day if I was given the chance and still go to bed at a good time. (I’m yawning as I write this.)

I don’t have much else to write about so I’m going to post a few pictures from our little getaway last week.

We decided to go to a little, town called Stinson Beach. Claudia actually proposed to me there five years ago so we decided that it would be the perfect place to go while we hoped our little embabies were getting snugly in my uterus. We hung out on the beach, went hiking and ate like crazy. It was exactly what we needed.

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We pulled over on the freeway to take a few scenic shots.

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Hiking in Muir Woods with the giant Redwoods.

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Claudia sitting along the creek we found.

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I’ve been obsessed with turtles since I found out that they represent good luck and fertility. Claudia found this little guy in the gift shop so we had to get him as a good luck charm. We named him Ferty. 🙂

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Us!!! Taking a break from our hike.

The SHOTS heard ’round the world

Time to try something new… the shots!!! The doctor suggested that we start off with only 112.5 units(1.5 vials) of Menopur. When we found out we would be starting with such a low dosage we were kind of upset, we were ready to go full force, balls to the wall…the doctor didnt agree though. She said Cristine is so young that her body might prepare and release too many eggs so, since she’s the boss, 112.5 unit it was.

We started to administer the Menopur on Wednesday October 5th. I would come home from work at 8am, wake Cristine up and go to the bathroom to do the deed. Our bathroom looked like a mini doctors office. Needles, alcohol pads, medication, wrappers and the needle discard container covered our counter. I would mix the correct units and right under her belly button I would insert the needle and inject her with this magical juice that would help Cristines eggs mature and prepare for the insemination. We did this for 5 days and on Monday we went back for a sonogram. Turns out only 1 egg was responding fast enough to the Menopur so the doctor up’ed the dosage to 150 units (2 vials) for another two days in hopes that a few more eggs would catch up to the 1 “smart egg”, as the doctor called it.  On Wednesday we went back for another sonogram and….no luck…still just 1 mature egg. It was too late to do anything about it so this was going to have to be the 1 egg to do the job for us. On Friday October15th we went in for the insemination.

We’ve done 12 inseminations at this point, 6 of them at the doctors office but for some reason this time was much more emotional for both Cristine and I. We’ve been through so much through this whole year and a half process, and I think we’ve finally grown tired of the emotional rollercoaster. We are finally trying something new, something more aggressive so all of our dreams, hopes and desires were invested into this one day.

The process went as usual. Doctor comes in, has us verify they have the correct donors sperm. He sits on this stool, adjusts the light,  inserts the speculum then the syringe with the $800 sperm we purchased and in go the little swimmers. We stayed in the room for 10 minutes giving the sperm time to swim to our 1 “smart egg”.

Now we wait. A VERY long 2 week wait before we can take the pregnancy test. Its now day 4 and theres nothing we can do but wait.Still waiting…….