Cristine here. Been awhile since I last wrote. Like always, I meant to document our journey here but life took over and it’s been a bit difficult.
As you all know, from the very cute pictures that have been posted, Matty made his arrival a whole eleven weeks early.
Adding his prematurity to the problems he was already experiencing in utero, the little guy has not had an easy life so far.
It’s too much to get into full details but I’ll summarize.
So far, he’s had two blood transfusions and four platelet transfusions. His lungs were super premature so he’s had some difficulties with the ventilator. Last week, the doctor thought he might be strong enough to get off of the ventilator so they removed it. He didn’t do so well so he had to be reincubated again. After that they discovered he had a lung infection. Turned out to be pnemunia. And the big one, he has brain bleeds.
Brain bleeds are a common occurance in premature babies. Most babies have grade 1 or 2 bleeds. Those are usually no big deal. The more severe ones are grade 3 and 4. Matty has two grade 3 bleeds.
When the doctors first found out they had the “talk” with us. Whether or not we wanted to continue Matty’s life. He told us that with grade 3 bleeds a child may experience a wide range of disabilities. It could be something as simple as speech/motor delays or as severe as cerebral palsy.
Never did we think we would be having THIS talk but the decision was a no brainer. We were no way in hell giving up on our baby. The doctors can’t predict his future and there is no way to tell which way Matty will go. And they obviously dont know Claudia and I. We are fighters and have been through a lot. But we aren’t naive, we know things can turn out to be the extreme side of the spectrum but we know we can give Matty a good life. He will be loved and he will know we have never wanted or fought for anything as much we we did for him. And besides, he is honestly the strongest person I know. All three pounds of him! He isn’t giving up and continues to surprise the nurses and doctors with his feisty, little self. So together we will continue and gain strength from one another.
I thought trying to get pregnant was hard. Never did I imagine we would have a premature baby in the NICU. This has been the most draining experience mentally and emotionally. I have never cried so much in my life. I hate seeing our helpless baby being poked and prodded over and over again and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Or see him cry and no sound comes out because he has a tube jammed down his throat. At the same time, it’s amazing to see this tiny boy have so much strength. He is a determined little thing!
There are times when I’m angry, sad, frustrated, jealous and think “why us?” when I think of everything we have been through but then I look at this perfect, little boy and realize it all lead us to him. And that by itself is totally worth it.
We still have a long, road ahead of us but I’m counting the days til we can bring Matty home with us.
Please keep our Matty Mouse in your prayers and thoughts!!